As of January 2022, I have visited a grand total of 33 theme parks. Pretty entry-level numbers for a theme park enthusiast I know, but with what I really truly hope will be a year packed full of new parks and experiences I thought now would be a good time to take stock and think about the parks I have visited so far.
When ranking I tried to use my opinion of the park as it was when I visited, which for some of these parks may not be a fair reflection of it's current state. Most significantly, my Orlando visit was way back in 2015 when Mako, Kong, Pandora and Frozen Ever After (and probably more) were under construction, Galaxy's Edge and Toy Story Land were just sketches and dragons were still to be found d̶u̶e̶l̶l̶i̶n̶g̶ challenging.
It's also worth saying that I've yet to visit a theme park I didn't enjoy. I don't think any of these parks are bad.
So, here is my personal ranking of the theme parks I've visited up to now (January 15th 2022):
Lets talk about those rankings a bit shall we?
D Rank
(Funland at the Tropicana, Funderworld Theme Park, Brean Theme Park, Clacton Pier)
The bottom rank here is reserved for amusement parks only a whisker away from being fun fairs. I love a good fun fair, and I love a seaside amusement park (honestly, if it's a place with a ride I'll probably love it) but there's no denying these parks fall behind when looking at the overall experience. Whilst I had a great time at all of these parks (even Clacton Pier, where we spent most of the time frantically trying to find a (non-existent) Go Gator listed on RCDB before our parking ran out) Brean is definitely the highlight here. Terror Castle and Astro Storm punch *way* above their weight and I could quite happily spend a morning lapping both, but sadly I just can't rank higher a park who's entrance was designed on MS Paint.
C Rank
(West Midlands Safari Park, Wicksteed Park, Lightwater Valley, Joyland, Pleasurewood Hills, Great Yarmouth Pleasure Beach, Flambards, Oakwood, Crealy)
Well, this is a diverse bunch! All of these parks are more established than those in the D category but do not leave me as desperate for a re-visit at those parks in higher ranks. Some (Flambards, WMSP and Wicksteed) specialize in other types of entertainment and just happen to also have a selection of rides, whilst others are focussed on younger demographics. Oakwood will always have a special place in my heart (Megafobia and Speed: No Limits were my first two big coasters, and still some of my favourites) but there's no denying that the park could use some love. It's a bit tired, with poor operations and bad food but with a bit of investment this park could be truly special. It's still a great day out, you just have to know what to expect. I'm also still mad that this iconic fever dream closed:
Lightwater Valley is another park that I visited multiple times as a child as my parents were really fond of it (enough so that we travelled to Ripon from Bristol for it?!) and I have really fond memories of Rat Ride, particularly the theming throughout the queue-line which was way above average for the UK. In what is my single greatest theme-park-related regret in life, I never rode The Ultimate as I was still too scared of coasters. Something I'll never forgive myself for, as the ride enters a second season of being SBNO and hope of ever riding it quickly evaporates.
B Rank
(Universal Studios Florida, Fantasy Island, Chessington World of Adventures, Thorpe Park, Disney's Hollywood Studios, EPCOT, Seaworld Orlando, Walt Disney Studios Park, Legoland Windsor, Futuroscope)
These are all very good theme parks, and ones that I really hope to re-visit in the future!
Futuroscope is one of the most unusual theme parks I've ever visited. Way back in 2007 we took a school trip over to the park, which combined art, cinema and technology to create attractions the like of which I'd not seen before - all of which were inside enormous sculptural buildings! I'd love to revisit and see how this park is doing 15 years (omg) later - I think they even have coasters now! Futuroscope was also the first time I ever saw water screens being used for a night-time projection show and it blew. my. mind.
Dear lord.
Perhaps the most controversial of my rankings here is Walt Disney Studios Park. I am of course incredibly biased, given that DLP is my most visited theme park resort, but I honestly believe WDSP deserves this placement most of the time. WDSP is a park that varies in quality vastly throughout the year, depending on it's entertainment line-up. Without entertainment, this is a park you can have done and dusted before lunch (assuming you're game for the Crush Rush). But, when Mickey and the Magician/Mickey's Christmas Big Band, the Frozen show, Disney Jnr Dream Factory are all running and characters are scattered throughout the park, you can have a really fantastic day here. With WDSP 2.0 on the way, this is a park that hopefully soon will be able to stand it's own with the rest of the international Disney parks.
Whilst this ranking also feels far too generous for Fantasy Island (I mean, is it really on a level with Disney parks?) I just couldn't bring myself to rank it any lower based purely on the pyramid. It really is a magical place.
A Rank
(Parc Asterix, Alton Towers, Magic Kingdom, Blackpool Pleasure Beach, Energylandia, Paultons Park)
These are parks that given the option, I'd quite happily spend all of my free time visiting. Alton Towers and Paultons Park are my two favourite parks in this country, making me wonder if maybe I'm also a landscape garden enthusiast. But, between Towers' ride line-up and Paultons' theming I couldn't think of two better days out in the UK.
Blackpool Pleasure Beach also managed to squeeze in to this rank even though I've only had one visit so far with both the PMBO and Valhalla closed! BPB really took me by surprise and I just found the vibe throughout the park to be brilliant, and the ride line-up to be so unusual and varied that I couldn't help but fall in love. I'm so excited to spend more time discovering this park this year - roll on opening weekend!
Also in this group are the two European parks (exc. DLP) that I have visited so far, Energylandia and Parc Asterix. Both parks have fantastic coaster line-ups alongside a fun mix of other attractions. Admittedly, Energylandia does prioritise quantity instead of quality but throughout the park there are enough quality attractions that after three days in the park I still found myself sad to leave. I also clearly have to give any park that allows you to ride inside the butt of it's park mascot top-tier ranking.
S Rank
(Disney's Animal Kingdom, Parc Disneyland, Universal's Islands of Adventure)
Oh yes. The creme de la creme, the bees knees, the cat's pyjamas. Three parks that offer absolutely unrivalled (in my experience) immersion, theming and attractions (admittedly DAK struggles on this front but still). Whilst it has been many years since I stepped foot in either Islands of Adventure or Disney's Animal Kingdom, I can still remember the feeling of peace and joy as I wandered dizzily through gorgeously themed land after gorgeously themed land. Hopefully, we will be returning to Orlando this Christmas and dear lord I cannot wait to experience Hagrid's, Velocicoaster and Flight of Passage! Then there's Parc Disneyland. This theme park means more to me than any other on Earth. Every single time I enter Fantasia Gardens and walk down towards the park gates I am overcome with emotion, then walking under the Disneyland Hotel and getting those first glimpses of what is surely one of the most beautiful parks in the world? The best feeling. Whilst some of my absolute favourite attractions reside within this park, I could quite happily spend a whole day not riding a single thing here and still leave as happy as ever. A masterpiece of themed entertainment.
Speak again soon,
Claire
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